in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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