would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
