38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize