Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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