The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
