saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
