I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
