i permit you to call me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
