It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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