1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
