No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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