Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
