WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
