What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize