the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
