TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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