so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Come share oat with me in your robe
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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