I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
