I smell stomach acid.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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