I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
