i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
