You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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