I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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