also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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