I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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