How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
how does that bad decision feel?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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