Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
