haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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