I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize