This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
