I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
