I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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