Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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