that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
