U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
