Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
