No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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