it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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