i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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