what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i now understand why vodka
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
