that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
