we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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