I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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