haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
