Quick, to the slutcave!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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