i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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