I can text with my tongue
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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