im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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