Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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