I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize