Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
