I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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