WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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