...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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