i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
