drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
