waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
